I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
