She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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