Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
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and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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