Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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