so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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