He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are we still banned from the library?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
