What a fucking waste of an outfit
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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