So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
