So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
