Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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