Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
