i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
