I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Actions speak louder than pants.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
