I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
love makes seman taste better
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
