Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize