You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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