Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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