i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
