I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
