just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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