We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
