We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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