HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
