STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
