Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
