you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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