Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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