I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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