Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
