so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
