I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
