you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
