Got a toothbrush?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
BRING THE BAGELS
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
tell me about the fingering
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
