sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
