you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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