'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
