Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
