AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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