Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
