1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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