I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
