Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize