i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
