I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
