You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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