i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize