Only a mothe r could love this liver
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
