the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
