not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
