I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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