you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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