he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
