I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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