Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
