So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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