If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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