i barfeds in our rink
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
