So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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