Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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