I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
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Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
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And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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