puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
