Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
