I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
