I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
