i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
